“Have no fear of perfection,
you will never reach it.”
– Salvador Dali
Graduated with honors? Check! Earned an advanced degree? Check! On top of that, you live in a nice community and have a great career.
Everything is going according to plan. You’re the complete package.
When it’s time to relax and wind down from the long work day, you begin to notice something feels off. Your thoughts slowly become dark and you are overtaken by feelings of emptiness and sadness.
To the outside world, it looks like you have it all. But on the inside- it’s never enough. You are not enough.
You have mastered the art of “pleasing, performing and perfecting” so much that the thought of making a mistake cripples you with anxiety.
Your self-worth is tied to your income, your dress size, or your work performance and the possibility of being exposed as anything less than the image you have created for yourself is paralyzing. The real you is too damaged to be let out in public.
When you do make a mistake, you become flooded with uncontrollable emotions. You viciously turn on yourself (and maybe others) and you become your worst critic.
“You should have known better.”
“You should have done better.”
“You were vulnerable and that can never happen again.”
In efforts to recover from the immense feelings of failure, you move the goalpost further and create higher standards to achieve.
Your relationship with perfectionism has grown so toxic that you begin to demand it from others. And when friends and loved ones fail to meet your ever-growing standards, you become resentful and push them away- creating a life that is incredibly lonely and isolating.
Keeping up with this narrative is exhausting and it’s beginning to take a toll on your emotional wellness. You crave peace. You crave change.
If you’ve made it all the way to this paragraph, there’s a good chance that something I outlined above resonates with you. Like you, I have struggled with perfectionism for the majority of my life.
From a young age, we are taught that the world is judging us and that “pleasing, performing, and perfecting” are necessary for our survival.
As an adult, it can be extremely difficult to break down these negative thought patterns and habits. However, I like to tell my clients that awareness of the problem is 50% of the work. And awareness is what led you to my page- so take a moment to celebrate your awareness!
So, you’re aware that something needs to change, now what?
Well, when you’re ready, I am here to help you move beyond awareness.
I want to help you create new, healthy patterns and habits that allow you to rebuild an authentic relationship with yourself — a relationship that is grounded in peace.
Here are some specific ways that individual therapy can help you overcome perfectionism:
- Identify the root causes of your perfectionism. What are the underlying beliefs and experiences that drive your need to be perfect? Once you understand the root causes of your perfectionism, you can begin to challenge them and develop new ways of thinking.
- Learn to accept yourself for who you are. Perfectionism is often rooted in a deep sense of self-loathing or inadequacy. In therapy, you can learn to accept and appreciate yourself, flaws and all.
- Develop more realistic standards. Part of overcoming perfectionism is learning to set more realistic and achievable goals. In therapy, you can learn to identify and challenge your unrealistic expectations.
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms. Perfectionism can lead to a variety of unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as procrastination, self-criticism, and social isolation. In therapy, you can learn to develop healthier coping mechanisms that will help you manage your stress and anxiety.
- Build a supportive network. Having a strong support network is essential for overcoming perfectionism. In therapy, you can learn to build and maintain healthy relationships with others who can offer you support and encouragement.
I am a mental health professional who can help you work through your thoughts and feelings about perfectionism. I can also help you develop problem-solving skills to achieve your goals in a healthy way. I understand that perfectionism can have a negative impact on your romantic relationships, so I can also help you work on building healthy and supportive relationships.
If you are ready to start your journey towards overcoming perfectionism, I encourage you to contact me today to schedule a free consultation. I look forward to helping you create a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
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Get started creating the life you deserve — free of anxiety and people-pleasing. Start living a life of balance and authenticity.
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